Tony Silveira

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Dealing with Jealousy

#Dealing with Jealousy

We often hear jealousy dismissed as insecurity. Christians always find ways to tidy up difficult and rebellious emotions. We shouldn’t dare patronize jealousy by giving it different names.
When our jealousy takes the form of suspicion, it’s easy to lose emotional and mental control — to engage in morbid curiosity and fantasy. 

It’s not sinful to feel jealous but the wrong kind of jealousy can lead us to destruction. It’s vital to understand the unique temptations involved in the different kinds of jealousy. We cannot ignore jealousy or we will be consumed by it.

Recognize God’s Sovereignty and ACCEPT IT

Matthew 20
1  “For the kingdom of heaven is like a master of a house who went out early in the morning to hire laborers for his vineyard.
2  After agreeing with the laborers for a denarius a day, he sent them into his vineyard.
3  And going out about the third hour he saw others standing idle in the marketplace,
4  and to them he said, ‘You go into the vineyard too, and whatever is right I will give you.’
5  So they went. Going out again about the sixth hour and the ninth hour, he did the same.
6  And about the eleventh hour he went out and found others standing. And he said to them, ‘Why do you stand here idle all day?’
7  They said to him, ‘Because no one has hired us.’ He said to them, ‘You go into the vineyard too.’
8  And when evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, ‘Call the laborers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last, up to the first.’
9  And when those hired about the eleventh hour came, each of them received a denarius.
10  Now when those hired first came, they thought they would receive more, but each of them also received a denarius.
11  And on receiving it they grumbled at the master of the house,
12  saying, ‘These last worked only one hour, and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the day and the scorching heat.’
13  But he replied to one of them, ‘Friend, I am doing you no wrong. Did you not agree with me for a denarius?
14  Take what belongs to you and go. I choose to give to this last worker as I give to you.
15  Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or do you begrudge my generosity?’
16  So the last will be first, and the first last.”

God has a payment plan that seems to be really unfair. God can decide whatever He wants and we have no business in disagreeing with Him. The “Old School” people will always be upset with the new generation.

We see here 3 categories of workers. The first workers, the ones in the mid-time and the last ones to arrive.

Romans 11
13 Now I am speaking to you Gentiles. Inasmuch then as I am an apostle to the Gentiles, I magnify my ministry
14 in order somehow to make my fellow Jews jealous, and thus save some of them.

Paul used jealousy as a way of salvation.
First workers – The Jews
Mid time workers – The first disciples
The last workers – Us
Jealousy separated the righteous from the unrighteous.

James 4
5 Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”?
6 But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

God’s jealousy is focused in our well being and is canceled by Grace when we show humility.

##Korah’s Rebellion

Numbers 16
1  Now Korah the son of Izhar, son of Kohath, son of Levi, and Dathan and Abiram the sons of Eliab, and On the son of Peleth, sons of Reuben, took men.
2  And they rose up before Moses, with a number of the people of Israel, 250 chiefs of the congregation, chosen from the assembly, well-known men.
3  They assembled themselves together against Moses and against Aaron and said to them, “You have gone too far! For all in the congregation are holy, every one of them, and the LORD is among them. Why then do you exalt yourselves above the assembly of the LORD?”
4  When Moses heard it, he fell on his face,

When you do the will of God it’s inevitable that this will provoke jealousy around you. As a consequence two things will always happen.
1. God will protect you and reward you
2. God will show his wrath against the jealous persons. Rebelion against God’s anointed will always bring death.

Numbers 16
19  Then Korah assembled all the congregation against them at the entrance of the tent of meeting. And the glory of the LORD appeared to all the congregation.
20  And the LORD spoke to Moses and to Aaron, saying,
21  “Separate yourselves from among this congregation, that I may consume them in a moment.”

God was about to destroy the whole nation of Israel because of their jealousy and rebellious attitudes.

Numbers 16:32  And the earth opened its mouth and swallowed them up, with their households and all the people who belonged to Korah and all their goods.
33  So they and all that belonged to them went down alive into Sheol, and the earth closed over them, and they perished from the midst of the assembly.

God was quick to judge Korah and his family and everyone associated to the rebellion and they went straight to “Sheol” (hell).

Jesus suffered because of jealousy

Matthew 27:18  For he knew that it was out of envy that they had delivered him up.

It was jealousy and envy that caused the jewish leadership to arrest Jesus and ask Pilates to have Him killed.

How to kill that jealousy in you

  1. Recognize that you have a problem
    If you are a chronically jealous person, then the chances are that you feel that you are not a person who is worthy of admiration because you are not exciting, interesting, or dynamic. 
  2. Repent of being jealous and pray for the ones you envy
    Learn to pray and be happy when others are blessed with success. Be realistic about the people you are jealous of. Make a list of all the things they have that you are jealous of, and then ask yourself if you have anything they would want.
  3. Develop your self-confidence
    Write down all the things you love about yourself and make a list of your flaws. Work to address as many flaws as you can, and you will start feeling better about who you are. If you feel better about being in your own skin, you will be much less likely to be jealous.
  4. Do more of the things you love.
    If you spend a lot of your time wishing you were more like your friends, it may be because you don’t do a lot of things that you’re proud of. Get of Facebook if you are jealous.
  5. Set goals for yourself and reach them.
    Remind yourself of how blessed you are.
  6. Be a more generous person. If you spend more time helping others, you will not only feel better about yourself for being more generous, but you will have a better understanding of what you have that others would be grateful for. Volunteer in your community. To get a concrete sense of how fortunate you are, 
  7. Develop the “Fruit of the Spirit” and improve your relationships.

Galalians 5
19  Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality,
20  idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions,
21  envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Jealousy is a “work of the flesh” and is the opposite of the “Fruit of the Spirit”

Galatians 5
22  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23  gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
24  And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

So we see that we can crucify jealousy…

Galatians 5
25  If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.
26  Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

You can become “conceited and jealous” if you start to do the works of the flesh instead of manifesting the fruit of the Spirit. This jealousy will destroy you and keep you from receiving God’s blessings.